Friday, April 1, 2016

Arternate Earth: Road House

...Well, that was unusual. 

There I was minding my own business and walking the dog around our block when I was confronted by a strange man wearing a Ronald Reagan Halloween mask and a black suit. "Listen," he growled at me, "I've seen things...things you wouldn't couldn't shouldn't believe - and I need you to tell America about them." With that, he pressed a manila envelope into my hands, turned, and ran off. 

Inside that backpack were two sheets of paper, and on those sheets of paper was the following list. Handwritten in a scrawl that seems both half-mad and full of strange conviction, I am re-typing it and publishing it here so that you can make up your own mind about what it means. As for myself, I'm left with a curious, inexplicable sadness; a strong sense that our world has been deprived of something grand and vital. I find myself hoping against hope that I'll see that mysterious stranger again, and that he'll bring some Blurays with him, because I have GOT to see these movies. If you've encountered any evidence of their existence I urge you to send it my way at