Monday, June 7, 2010

Pass The Sentence (06.07.10)

Morning, all.

After a refreshing weekend and some time spent working on the inaugural edition of Lost and Found (up this week on Chud.com) I'm ready to start posting some of that non-Lost nonsense I promised all of you, and what better way to kick things off than with an undemanding ongoing feature?

Every Monday before noon I'll post an opening sentence - a starting point for all of you to build off of. That sentence will be intentionally open-ended, enabling you to construct something elegiac, something horrific, something comedic, or something else altogether from that initial root, depending on your collective whim.

To play along, copy my first sentence into the comment box for this post, and then add your own second sentence. The next commenter, copy the first two sentences and add a third, and so on and so forth until we've built a communal story/poem/senseless Frankenstein from our collective efforts. Feel free to take things in any direction you see fit, and to end/change things at any time. There's no time limit and no end-date; there's also no pressure to make this objectively "good" or "interesting" as a whole. Concentrate on writing a sentence that's genuinely interesting to you, and that logically (or illogically) follows from what's already been written. Approach the exercise as its own reward.

You can contribute as often as you'd like, but there's one firm rule: No person may make two consecutive contributions.

Here we go:

"There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room."

16 comments:

  1. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room. Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room. Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.
    Woe and dismay awaited that ill-fated pachyderm-prodder, however, for unbenownst to all the subject has spent the last hour devouring an entire dumpster full of week-old burritos and his stomach had begun to dance faster than Popeye at a cocaine-binged sea shanty competition.

    ReplyDelete
  3. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room. Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.
    Woe and dismay awaited that ill-fated pachyderm-prodder, however, for unbeknownst to all, the subject has spent the last hour devouring an entire dumpster full of week-old burritos and his stomach had begun to dance faster than Popeye at a cocaine-binged sea shanty competition.
    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision.

    ReplyDelete
  4. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room. Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.
    Woe and dismay awaited that ill-fated pachyderm-prodder, however, for unbeknownst to all, the subject has spent the last hour devouring an entire dumpster full of week-old burritos and his stomach had begun to dance faster than Popeye at a cocaine-binged sea shanty competition.
    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision. The root cause of the palpable tension that had escalated to this very point over the past eleven days was perched on a shelf eight feet to the left of the old fool’s head, and if he didn’t realize that by now, well, he deserved everything that was coming to him.

    ReplyDelete
  5. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room.

    Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.

    Woe and dismay awaited that ill-fated pachyderm-prodder, however, for unbeknownst to all, the subject has spent the last hour devouring an entire dumpster full of week-old burritos and his stomach had begun to dance faster than Popeye at a cocaine-binged sea shanty competition.

    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision.

    The root cause of the palpable tension that had escalated to this very point over the past eleven days was perched on a shelf eight feet to the left of the old fool’s head, and if he didn’t realize that by now, well, he deserved everything that was coming to him

    Gimlet-eyed but no less blind for that fact, the pugnacious prodder of pachyderms turned his face away from the overfull shelving - avoiding a discovery that might have spared him both indignity and partial limblessness.

    (Nicely done, folks. Please continue to play.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room.

    Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.

    Woe and dismay awaited that ill-fated pachyderm-prodder, however, for unbeknownst to all, the subject has spent the last hour devouring an entire dumpster full of week-old burritos and his stomach had begun to dance faster than Popeye at a cocaine-binged sea shanty competition.

    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision.

    The root cause of the palpable tension that had escalated to this very point over the past eleven days was perched on a shelf eight feet to the left of the old fool’s head, and if he didn’t realize that by now, well, he deserved everything that was coming to him.

    Gimlet-eyed but no less blind for that fact, the pugnacious prodder of pachyderms turned his face away from the overfull shelving - avoiding a discovery that might have spared him both indignity and partial limblessness.

    Suddenly, the elephant reared up and stumbled backward after its head smacked into the ceiling.

    ReplyDelete
  7. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room.

    Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.

    Woe and dismay awaited that ill-fated pachyderm-prodder, however, for unbeknownst to all, the subject had spent the last hour devouring an entire dumpster full of week-old burritos and his stomach had begun to dance faster than Popeye at a cocaine-binged sea shanty competition.

    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision.

    The root cause of the palpable tension that had escalated to this very point over the past eleven days was perched on a shelf eight feet to the left of the old fool’s head, and if he didn’t realize that by now, well, he deserved everything that was coming to him.

    Gimlet-eyed but no less blind for that fact, the pugnacious prodder of pachyderms turned his face away from the overfull shelving - avoiding a discovery that might have spared him both indignity and partial limblessness.

    Suddenly, the elephant reared up and stumbled backward after its head smacked into the ceiling.

    Having turned away, Chet N. Little began reflecting on his life and the timid decisions that brought him to this point; a life of worry and fear that weighed heavily on his mind casting an enourmous shadow of trepidation that could come crashing down at any moment like a falling sky.

    ReplyDelete
  8. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room.

    Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.

    Woe and dismay awaited that ill-fated pachyderm-prodder, however, for unbeknownst to all, the subject had spent the last hour devouring an entire dumpster full of week-old burritos and his stomach had begun to dance faster than Popeye at a cocaine-binged sea shanty competition.

    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision.

    The root cause of the palpable tension that had escalated to this very point over the past eleven days was perched on a shelf eight feet to the left of the old fool’s head, and if he didn’t realize that by now, well, he deserved everything that was coming to him.

    Gimlet-eyed but no less blind for that fact, the pugnacious prodder of pachyderms turned his face away from the overfull shelving - avoiding a discovery that might have spared him both indignity and partial limblessness.

    Suddenly, the elephant reared up and stumbled backward after its head smacked into the ceiling.

    Having turned away, Chet N. Little began reflecting on his life and the timid decisions that brought him to this point; a life of worry and fear that weighed heavily on his mind casting an enourmous shadow of trepidation that could come crashing down at any moment like a falling sky.
    Falling in much the same way as the pieces of ceiling tile and plaster that the pachyderm had dislodged in its gambol. Thinking quickly, Chet dove headlong towards the safety of a space beneath his erstwhile opponent.

    ReplyDelete
  9. (There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room... Thinking quickly, Chet dove headlong towards the safety of a space beneath his erstwhile opponent.)

    The elephant’s belly was gray and dry, giving it an almost transparent quality that reminded him of what it was like to see through bone china when held up to strong light, and beneath the surface of that dying skin, he saw words.

    ReplyDelete
  10. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room.

    Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.

    Woe and dismay awaited that ill-fated pachyderm-prodder, however, for unbeknownst to all, the subject had spent the last hour devouring an entire dumpster full of week-old burritos and his stomach had begun to dance faster than Popeye at a cocaine-binged sea shanty competition.

    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision.

    The root cause of the palpable tension that had escalated to this very point over the past eleven days was perched on a shelf eight feet to the left of the old fool’s head, and if he didn’t realize that by now, well, he deserved everything that was coming to him.

    Gimlet-eyed but no less blind for that fact, the pugnacious prodder of pachyderms turned his face away from the overfull shelving - avoiding a discovery that might have spared him both indignity and partial limblessness.

    Suddenly, the elephant reared up and stumbled backward after its head smacked into the ceiling.

    Having turned away, Chet N. Little began reflecting on his life and the timid decisions that brought him to this point; a life of worry and fear that weighed heavily on his mind casting an enourmous shadow of trepidation that could come crashing down at any moment like a falling sky.
    Falling in much the same way as the pieces of ceiling tile and plaster that the pachyderm had dislodged in its gambol. Thinking quickly, Chet dove headlong towards the safety of a space beneath his erstwhile opponent. The false security of the space beneath his opponent became apparent once the man's girth started to contract and expand like the hot air balloon used in Henry Gale, the lost explorer's attempt to circumnavigate the Earth staring in the South Pacific.

    ReplyDelete
  11. (We seem to have lost the point - one sentence, and one sentence only. I appreciate the larger contributions, but they defeat the purpose/challenge of the game. Have a good morning, all. I'll be by a little later today with a brief Get Him To The Greek review.)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Drats. I was looking forward to adding JUST ONE SENTENCE! They changed the rules!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well, I screwed up, but only the format (and a poorly phrased sentence). I like this experiment quite a bit, if only because it's amusing. However, could we set up some content rules?

    For instance, most of us seem far to focused on description. Hemingway would hate us(remember "baby shoes": For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.).

    Maybe we could ask for certain types of sentences: e.g. something must happen in each sentence, an action.

    Ban the semi-colon (it's cheating)

    Salvage:
    My sentence was missed/written at the same time as RnB, so I'm gonna post mine after the others and let RnB adapt/rewrite his.

    ReplyDelete
  14. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room.

    Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.

    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision.

    The root cause of the palpable tension that had escalated to this very point over the past eleven days was perched on a shelf eight feet to the left of the old fool’s head, and if he didn’t realize that by now, well, he deserved everything that was coming to him.

    Gimlet-eyed but no less blind for that fact, the pugnacious prodder of pachyderms turned his face away from the overfull shelving - avoiding a discovery that might have spared him both indignity and partial limblessness.

    Suddenly, the elephant reared up and stumbled backward after its head smacked into the ceiling.

    Having turned away, Chet N. Little began reflecting on his life and the timid decisions that brought him to this point; a life of worry and fear that weighed heavily on his mind casting an enormous shadow of trepidation that could come crashing down at any moment like a falling sky, falling in much the same way as the pieces of ceiling tile and plaster that the pachyderm had dislodged in its gambol.

    Thinking quickly, Chet dove headlong towards the safety of a space beneath his erstwhile opponent.

    The elephant’s belly was gray and dry, giving it an almost transparent quality that reminded him of what it was like to see through bone china when held up to strong light, and beneath the surface of that dying skin, he saw words.

    ReplyDelete
  15. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room.

    Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.

    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision.

    The root cause of the palpable tension that had escalated to this very point over the past eleven days was perched on a shelf eight feet to the left of the old fool’s head, and if he didn’t realize that by now, well, he deserved everything that was coming to him.

    Gimlet-eyed but no less blind for that fact, the pugnacious prodder of pachyderms turned his face away from the overfull shelving - avoiding a discovery that might have spared him both indignity and partial limblessness.

    Suddenly, the elephant reared up and stumbled backward after its head smacked into the ceiling.

    Having turned away, Chet N. Little began reflecting on his life and the timid decisions that brought him to this point; a life of worry and fear that weighed heavily on his mind casting an enormous shadow of trepidation that could come crashing down at any moment like a falling sky, falling in much the same way as the pieces of ceiling tile and plaster that the pachyderm had dislodged in its gambol.

    Thinking quickly, Chet dove headlong towards the safety of a space beneath his erstwhile opponent.

    The elephant’s belly was gray and dry, giving it an almost transparent quality that reminded him of what it was like to see through bone china when held up to strong light, and beneath the surface of that dying skin, he saw words.

    Stark terror rose like bile at the simultaneous realization that the words HELP ME! were his own handwriting and were coming from INSIDE THE ELEPHANT!

    ReplyDelete
  16. There was no ignoring the Elephant in the room.

    Someone was going to have to take the first step, get the industrial-strength cattle-prod, and zap the wrinkly bastard in the rump.

    But this was no time for meekness, no time for indecision.

    The root cause of the palpable tension that had escalated to this very point over the past eleven days was perched on a shelf eight feet to the left of the old fool’s head, and if he didn’t realize that by now, well, he deserved everything that was coming to him.

    Gimlet-eyed but no less blind for that fact, the pugnacious prodder of pachyderms turned his face away from the overfull shelving - avoiding a discovery that might have spared him both indignity and partial limblessness.

    Suddenly, the elephant reared up and stumbled backward after its head smacked into the ceiling.

    Having turned away, Chet N. Little began reflecting on his life and the timid decisions that brought him to this point; a life of worry and fear that weighed heavily on his mind casting an enormous shadow of trepidation that could come crashing down at any moment like a falling sky, falling in much the same way as the pieces of ceiling tile and plaster that the pachyderm had dislodged in its gambol.

    Thinking quickly, Chet dove headlong towards the safety of a space beneath his erstwhile opponent.

    The elephant’s belly was gray and dry, giving it an almost transparent quality that reminded him of what it was like to see through bone china when held up to strong light, and beneath the surface of that dying skin, he saw words.

    Stark terror rose like bile at the simultaneous realization that the words HELP ME! were his own handwriting and were coming from INSIDE THE ELEPHANT!

    Terrified, Chet screamed those very same words as he awoke suddenly, realizing that he had been lying down on a couch, and the pachydermic metaphor had to be dealt with.

    ReplyDelete